NoFo? Really?

Now, I know I moved away from the East End a long time ago, in 1997, back in the days when the Riverhead Best Buy was just a gleam in the eye of some greedy developer. But I've gone back there pretty regularly every year since then, and seem to have missed the transformation of this sleepy area. Marketers and real estate people are now apparently calling it NOFO. As in no effin' way.

This is kind of like how real estate people in NY called the area north of Houston St. NoHo, or the area near the Manhattan bridge Dumbo, which I thought was a joke when I first heard it. When I lived in Inwood there was an attempt to call this underwhelming, trash-strewn area NoMa, but it was quickly discovered that people wouldn't pay $600,000 for a one bedroom that is so far north you might as well be living in the Bronx.

But back to NoFo. The North Fork. I'm saddened to think my homeland is changing to an all-scum-all-the-time demographic. I somehow doubt it will, since there are no ocean beaches and you aren't likely to see any obscenely wealthy people or celebrities strutting around Main St. in Cutchogue. It's more likely you'll get hit by an old rusty Chevy crossing route 25, or loudly berated by a drunkard in Greenport village.

Take it from someone who grew up there. The North Fork is a terrible place you should stay away from. The people are all rude, Deliverance-style hicks, there's nothing to do except stare out the window, and them people don't cotton' to rich folk or out-of towners.