Tolkien in the New Yorker

In a shocking development, a critic from the New Yorker sniffs his nose at Tolkien and declares him boring and his entire oeuvre passe. Philip Larkin said so, apparently. Now, do you see any critics writing long, pointless pieces about the lack of dwarves in Kingsley Amis novels? Yet Gopnik writes thousands of words complaining that Tolkien's books aren't modern enough (among other failings). Never mind the students who enjoyed his courses, or the countless millions around the world who love his work.

Rather than refute the essay point by point (someone else already did a great job of that), I'll instead link to one of my favorite essays about Tolkien, written by Gene Wolfe. It's a piece that speaks to the joy and wonder of reading fantasy. In one section he writes about Tolkien imitators, and has this to say:

I have shown you, I hope, what these books have meant to me. If you find echoes of them in my own books and stories (and particularly in The Wizard Knight, with which I have struggled for the past year) you will not have discomfited me -- I am proud of them. Terry Brooks has often been disparaged for imitating Tolkien, particularly by those reviewers who find his books inferior to Tolkien's own. I can say only that I wish there were more imitators -- we need them -- and that all imitations of so great an original must necessarily be inferior.

Say It Ain't So, Jose!

Hard to register my utter disgust with the Mets after they let Jose Reyes go to the Marlins. Remember when they traded Tom Seaver in 1977? I don't, but this is almost as terrible as that. As bad as when Strawberry left for the Dodgers. Say what you want about the length of the contract and the money. Yes it was too many years (6), and too much money ($106 million). Sure he gets hurt sometimes.

But can you imagine the Yankees doing this? What reason can the Wilpons possibly give for letting their best player walk away without even offering a contract? The Mets play in the most expensive market in sports. NEW YORK CITY. Not Kansas City, or Baltimore, or Cincinnati. They charge some of the highest ticket prices in the entire sport! If they can't afford to pay Jose Reyes or anyone else they should SELL THE TEAM.

Of course they will say the standard things they always say about remaining competitive and smart spending. They lost $70 million last year, Sandy Alderson said yesterday. I must say Sandy has excellent skill sets, and is the perfect corporate toady, with his potato face, thinning hair and serious, military tone of voice. He and the Wilpons insult your intelligence if you're a Met fan. They are liars, pure and simple.

Reyes is gone because the Wilpons do not have the money to be baseball owners. The Madoff suit is still not settled, and they still may lose the team, but will hang on to the bitter end. In the meantime they will gut the team and spend as little money as possible, because they don't have it to spend. There is no other believable way to spin this horrorshow.

This is no rebuild, Met fans. If the Wilpons do not sell, expect the Kansas City Royals of the National League for years to come. The Mets are entering a new era, one that resembles the mid-70s. Expect another AAA season in 2012. I hope the stadium is empty next year and Reyes wins multiple batting and stolen base titles in Florida. He's a great player and like all Met fans I'm sorry to see him go.

Aelfwine, or Eriol

I never read many of the Histories of Middle Earth, but in looking at the Book of Lost Tales today, I discovered that a character named Aelfwine, (he was Eriol to the Elves) is called the author in some early versions of the tales. The framing device is interesting and very different from the later versions, even if it does seem a bit cumbersome at times. Eriol, we're told, was a man from England who sailed with some difficulty to Tol Eressea, and later had sons, Hengest and Horsa. In my Old English class we learned about these two soldiers, and how they spoke of 'the worthlessness of the Britons, and the richness of the land' in asking for aid to be sent to them.

Interesting how Tolkien had this framing device early on and later dropped it totally; the tale I read was originally written in 1917, the Silmarillion version decades later. The Tale of Tinuviel is told entirely by a woman named Veanne. In the introduction to the story she talks with Eriol, who is recounting the tale of his sea voyage to Tol Eressea. The history is richly detailed and it's interesting to read the stories in their early forms. The attention to detail is pretty incredible and somewhat daunting, but it's what makes Middle-Earth seem so real. The Tale of Tinuviel later became the story of Beren and Luthien, which you probably know from the Silmarillion. Aragorn talks about it a bit in the Lord of the Rings and it gets mentioned in the movies too. Next I'm going to read the Lay of Leithian, yet another version of the Beren and Luthien tale, and try to compare it to the ones I've already read.

So if there's a lesson here it's that you can't pay too much attention to details, and you should rewrite until you get the story the way you want it. Like Tolkien said, this one grew in the telling.

Hope Springs Eternal?

A new season is upon us. Will be interesting to see what Terry Collins has in mind. I have such low expectations that it will be hard to disappoint this year. Nonetheless, it could get late early around here especially if Wilpon's tragilarious financial situation gets any worse.

So I'll ignore the freezing rain and wind and the fact that seats at the corporate wonderland park are reduced to just $400 this year if you want to sit up close and personal, where you can actually see players and hear real live baseball sounds. I'll forget Beltran's creaky knees and Santana's bad arm and Rodriguez' incredible stupidity and Bay's inability to ever be healthy and look on the bright side. Wright should be good, so should Reyes and Pagan and Davis, and the pitching might be decent. Lucas Duda is just 25 and if he keeps it up, in a few years there's a good chance he'll be 30.

I don't watch games anymore except in person, and then only if I can pay face value (or less) and without extra fees. I listen on the radio, and below is my letter to the Mets stating why. It's hard to believe that at one time you could watch every game for free on channel 9.

I've been a Met fan my whole life. A few years ago I decided I'd had enough of Time Warner's thievery, and stopped paying $100 a month for basic cable, which is the only way to get SNY. The cable companies hold fans hostage, forcing us to subscribe to hundreds of channels we won't watch and don't want in order to see our favorite teams play. I, like many others, would gladly pay for MLB.tv or some other service if the absurd blackout rules were removed. Until then I'm happy to listen to Howie Rose on the radio. Please consider offering a package for games that doesn't require a subscription to cable tv.

I'm certain this strongly worded missive will make the Mets and MLB cave THIS YEAR! Such is the power of the written word! Now play ball! It's been a long winter.

Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan was in really good form last night at Terminal 5. His voice was rather rough during the first couple of songs, but he warmed up considerably after that. He was more animated than I've seen him recently (often taking center stage), and his band was extremely sharp. Charlie Sexton is awesome and Dylan even played lead a few times, which I hadn't seen him do for awhile. Much better than the show I saw at the United Palace a couple of years ago.

We were treated to some excellent songs, including This Wheel's on Fire, Things Have Changed, Simple Twist of Fate, Hard Rain, High Water, Masters of War, and Ballad of a Thin Man. Workingman's Blues was a real highlight for me, understated and powerful. "They say low wages are reality if we wanna compete abroad," Dylan sang. Something about this song sounds really mournful and emotional; he can still connect with an audience and write stuff that has the strength of his old songs. Not an easy trick, but he makes it look that way.

All in all a fun night and worth seeing him if you get the chance. The venue is not the greatest, best to get there early as it is packed to the rafters. Crowd was pretty good for the most part, a little weirdness with some fighting near us but otherwise they were into the show.

NoFo? Really?

Now, I know I moved away from the East End a long time ago, in 1997, back in the days when the Riverhead Best Buy was just a gleam in the eye of some greedy developer. But I've gone back there pretty regularly every year since then, and seem to have missed the transformation of this sleepy area. Marketers and real estate people are now apparently calling it NOFO. As in no effin' way.

This is kind of like how real estate people in NY called the area north of Houston St. NoHo, or the area near the Manhattan bridge Dumbo, which I thought was a joke when I first heard it. When I lived in Inwood there was an attempt to call this underwhelming, trash-strewn area NoMa, but it was quickly discovered that people wouldn't pay $600,000 for a one bedroom that is so far north you might as well be living in the Bronx.

But back to NoFo. The North Fork. I'm saddened to think my homeland is changing to an all-scum-all-the-time demographic. I somehow doubt it will, since there are no ocean beaches and you aren't likely to see any obscenely wealthy people or celebrities strutting around Main St. in Cutchogue. It's more likely you'll get hit by an old rusty Chevy crossing route 25, or loudly berated by a drunkard in Greenport village.

Take it from someone who grew up there. The North Fork is a terrible place you should stay away from. The people are all rude, Deliverance-style hicks, there's nothing to do except stare out the window, and them people don't cotton' to rich folk or out-of towners.

Mr. Met says his team is unbeatable at the new Shea Stadium

This picture speaks for itself. If a creepy, hydrocephalic potential child abductor is the centerpiece of your team's "Hall of Fame," you're in trouble.


What is this strange object? Met fans wonder. This golden, shining symbol must have some incredible import. Perhaps it went to the victor of some forgotten gladiatorial contest, now obscured by the mists of time. Perhaps the race of giants who created it attached some religious significance to its flags and pins and wondrous splendor. Who can say?


Jeff Wilpon says: "The only way Met fans will see a World Series trophy is when it's viewed as an historic artifact, like some ancient alien relic from across the aeons."

In other news, the Mets are one of the hottest teams in baseball and against all odds are hanging in there as we near the end of June. They won 14-6 last night in a soggy contest against Detroit.

Do you believe in miracles? R.A. Dickey and Angel Pagan do.